Wednesday, July 17, 2024
Have you ever felt like your doctor was looking down their nose at you? Ever had a provider make a suggestion you didn’t want to follow but they didn’t respect your choice?
Did you take time to interview them before you hired them? Probably not, huh? Most people don’t and sometimes they end up regretting it.
It’s easy to forget that providers are humans. They are not robots. They have personalities and opinions, and they all practice differently. Because of this, it is vital that you make a good decision when choosing a provider.
I hear you. You’re asking, “How do you decide who to choose?”
I’m glad you asked! You interview them, that’s how.
Yes, I said INTERVIEW. YOU are hiring THEM, so YOU ask THEM the questions.
In general, I recommend you interview any birth attendant you are going to hire. However, there are two areas where I think it is vital that you interview.
First, you should always interview any prospective pediatricians or nurse practitioners who will be caring for your children. Becoming a parent is a learning process, so you need a provider who will help you grow. You do not need a provider who will lord over you and be condescending when you have questions. But you also need a provider who respects that you are the parent and you have the right to decide what is best for your child. I will be publishing a post soon with interview questions for a potential pediatric provider.
Second, you should always interview any prospective midwife or physician you plan to hire for your birth. Why is it so important? Not only because this person will be caring for you during some of the most important moments of your life, but because this is a highly interpersonal time and it is a very emotional time.
You do not want to have a provider who you do not trust, nor do you want to have a provider with whom you do not feel comfortable. Additionally, you need to know that they will support your reasonable choices, whatever they may be. You need to know they are competent and yet they care enough to get to know you and be personable if that is the kind of provider you want.
How will you know that the providers you choose for these times will fit your needs and expectations without interviewing them?
No wise employer hires a worker without a thorough interview process. Neither should you hire ANY healthcare provider without doing the same.
The are three main types of providers who care for women in and around the time of birth. One is a midwife who specializes in the care of normal pregnancies. Another is an obstetrician who is a physician with advanced training to care for women. Obstetricians are also surgeons who can perform cesarean sections (c-sections) along with some other surgeries. Finally, some family practice physicians provide care to women during pregnancy and birth. Some, but not all, are also trained to perform c-sections.
Most good providers will offer “meet and greet” appointments for free. Contact their office, and set up a time to meet with them. This is the first step to making your decision. If a provider won’t have a meet and greet appointment with you, that might just be your answer to all of your questions.
What’s that you say? “But what do I ask them?”
I’m so glad you asked.
Here are some questions to ask the prospective provider during your meet and greet appointment, along some questions to ask yourself after the interview.
[I encourage you to go through this list and highlight the questions that are most important to you. Most providers will not have the time to answer all of these. The goal is to get a good feel for whether the provider is a good fit for you and your family. Also, realize that some of these questions won’t have to be asked for home birth providers since things like epidurals and most pain medications are not an option in that setting.]
I will be offering a printable list soon, but until then, please feel free to print out this list to take with you to your appointment.
If there are questions you are unsure about or you don’t know why they matter, please comment below. I will plan to elaborate on those points in future posts as you request.
Which questions did you ask your provider before you hired them? Did you hire a provider you wish you hadn’t? Tell me about it below! I want to hear from you!
Midwife & CEO of Your Birth, God's Way
Lori is a Certified Nurse-Midwife and the host of the Your Birth, God's Way podcast. She attends home births in Tennessee and teaches online childbirth education to moms across the country.
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