By now, I hope you've gotten to listen to (or read) all three parts of Dr. Stuart Fischbein's interview. Last week, I posted several reels over on Instagram from our conversation, and the one that got the most feedback was the one about not just picking someone to attend your birth because your insurance says they’ll cover them.

​I even got one ugly comment about it that I really wanted to address. So today let's talk about seeing the care you get during your pregnancy and your birth, which is a normal life event, in a little bit different way.

If there’s one thing you can do, even if you’re not pregnant yet, it’s to keep reading. Because when you can prepare yourself when you’re not pregnant, it’s so much more powerful. You’re learning at a time when you don’t have all the emotion and stress, so you can absorb things differently.

Now, speaking of controversial subjects, let’s dive into one headfirst. I got some pushback on Instagram when I posted a reel about paying for your care for pregnancy out of pocket. Dr. Stu went heavy on that, and I agree with him wholeheartedly.

Someone commented:
“Where y’all giving birth, where paying out of pocket is actually an option? This feels very privileged and a bit tone-deaf. The American healthcare system could easily bankrupt you with just one ‘out-of-pocket birth,’ let alone five.”

And she’s right—it can bankrupt you if you’re not prepared. But I wanted to address that part where she said it feels privileged and tone-deaf.

​You might imagine that those kinds of words don’t fly too far here, because I live a life that is the opposite of privilege—it’s priorities.

So let’s think about it. I’m a stay-at-home mom. My husband is self-employed. Money doesn’t grow on trees around here. There are no benefits, no employer-paid health insurance.

I could bring in more income, but as a Christian, I’ve prioritized the souls and education of my children over money. That means our bottom line is smaller, but what I gain with my children is worth more than any paycheck ever could be.

​We have to be careful about spending, take care of our health, and make good choices about the healthcare we seek.

There was a time when I couldn’t even get insurance—even as a healthy veteran. Later, my husband’s self-employed plan got canceled because of Obamacare. That pushed us to find another way, and that’s when we found Samaritan Ministries.

The equivalent of our “premium” is about a third of what traditional insurance cost. I was nervous at first, but when my oldest broke his arm and we went to the ER, we saw how different it was.

Our bill was $2,200, but because we were self-pay, they gave us 87% off, then another 20% off when we paid upfront. That brought it down to about $230. That’s the difference insurance hides from you—what things actually cost.

​So again, are we privileged? Or are we setting the right priorities?

Dr. Stu called it “Stockholm Syndrome.” And it fits. Stockholm Syndrome is when people develop positive feelings toward their captors.

Insurance companies have enslaved us to overpriced, under-delivering care. We run to them for permission—“Will they cover this? Will they let me do that?”

​They created the problem and the illusion that only they can solve it. That’s not care—that’s captivity.