I know many of you had a first birth that didn’t go how you wanted. You had it all laid out, but something went wrong. Somewhere along the way, things got off track—and now, you want it to be different this time.

But you might also feel scared. You might think you don’t have any control, or that it’s just going to go the same way again.

If you don’t prepare, you might be right.

This episode will help you see why there’s one thing you absolutely must have in order to have the birth you want—especially if your goal is a natural birth.

​It may sound simple, but it’s powerful—because this one thing directly affects the most important organ in your body: your brain.

That one thing is a support system.

It’s not a fancy gadget or an online course—though those things can help. The single most important factor for a successful, natural birth is having the right support system around you.

Today, we’ll talk about:

How to build that support system

What to do if you don’t have one

How to protect your peace during pregnancy and birth

Let’s start with your husband.

In an ideal world, your husband is fully on board with your birth plan—he sees your wisdom, supports your choices, and believes in what you’re trying to accomplish. But sometimes, that’s not reality.

If your husband isn’t yet on board, don’t lose hope. There are ways to help him understand:

Have him listen to this podcast.

Watch documentaries together—like The Business of Being Born—so he can see what you’re up against in the system.

If he’s a data-driven person, find statistics and research to show why natural birth matters.

If he’s still resistant, reach out to me. You can email me and I’ll be happy to help you navigate that conversation.

For now, let’s assume your husband is supportive and you’re both on the same team.

Next, let’s talk about the grandmas.

I know they mean well. They want to see their sweet grandbaby born. But if your mom or his mom isn’t fully supportive of your choices, it’s okay to lovingly say no.

There’s no one who has to be in that birth room besides you and your husband.

Why? Because the people around you can deeply affect your confidence. If anyone in that room doubts you—even silently—it can plant seeds of fear that affect how your body responds.

Did you know that stress can actually slow or stop labor? Your body must feel safe and peaceful for labor to progress naturally. We see this in nature: animals in labor will stop contracting when they sense danger. Our bodies do the same thing subconsciously.

So protect your peace. If a family member or friend can’t be calm and supportive, they don’t need to be there.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I took a HypnoBabies class. One concept from that class stuck with me—it was called the “Bubble of Peace.”

At first, I thought it sounded silly. But looking back, it was exactly right.

The idea is simple: when people speak negativity—telling horror stories, doubting your plan, or planting fear—you step away from it. You protect your bubble of peace.

You don’t have to be rude. You can simply smile, change the subject, and move on.

Every word you hear during pregnancy plants a seed.

Seeds of fear grow into doubt.

Seeds of belief grow into peace and confidence.

Which seeds are you going to water?

Be intentional about who gets to speak into your pregnancy, your birth, and your postpartum season.

Maybe your husband isn’t fully on board. Maybe your mom or friends don’t believe in natural birth. Or maybe you just don’t have anyone close who understands your heart for this.

That’s where a doula comes in.

A doula’s job is to support you emotionally, physically, and mentally. She protects your environment and helps you advocate for yourself. She can interpret what’s happening, explain options, and remind you of your goals.

Doulas are especially helpful in hospital settings where staff may not be used to natural births. They can help you stay calm, confident, and in control.

And perhaps most importantly—they let your husband simply be your husband. He doesn’t have to remember every technique or know exactly what to say. He can just love you and be present.

If you’re planning to give birth in a hospital, here’s one small tip that can make a huge difference:

When you check in, ask the admitting nurse if you can be assigned to a nurse who enjoys working with natural births.

That one simple request can completely change your experience. Nurses who value physiological birth will treat you differently, speak differently, and advocate differently than those who don’t.

Write that note down somewhere, because when labor begins, it’s easy to forget. Once you’re assigned to a nurse, that assignment rarely changes—so ask early.

Some of you might think all this sounds overly cautious. But as a midwife, I’ve seen it time and again:
You can have the best provider and the perfect plan, but if the people around you aren’t on your team, it will affect your birth.

Their words carry weight—more than mine ever could—because they’re part of your life beyond that moment.

That’s why this step matters so much:
Take time now to build your team.
Educate them. Have heartfelt conversations. Help them understand your heart.

And if they still can’t support you?
It’s okay to lovingly say, “I love you, but this is important to me, and I need peace in this space.”

That’s not rude—that’s wisdom.

You are your own best advocate.

Even if you don’t have all the support you wish for, remember this: you are never alone.

There is One who is always in your corner.

Pray and ask God to bring you the right provider and the right people to walk beside you. He cares about your birth. He designed your body for this moment. And He will provide what you need in His perfect way and timing.

A successful, natural birth isn’t about perfection—it’s about peace, preparation, and partnership with the people and the God who designed you.