What is it about being pregnant that makes complete strangers feel totally comfortable telling you their horror stories about their births? Or maybe it’s not complete strangers. Maybe it’s your aunt, your grandma, or whoever you might be spending time with this year during the holidays.

Normally, it would be so weird to go up to somebody and start gushing about pretty much anything, but having a baby in your belly seems to be an open invitation for anyone to spill their birth stories to you. In this culture, it really doesn’t make sense — but it’s real. So, since you can get blindsided anytime, anywhere, how can you navigate your way around all this negativity and not let it seep into your mindset?

​Let’s talk about that today.

Are you a Christian woman yearning for a beautiful, joyful pregnancy and birth with a focus on God — not medical tests? Are you worried the birth you want isn’t possible and tired of being treated like an accident waiting to happen?

Hey mama, I’m Lori, host of Your Birth God’s Way. I’m a certified nurse midwife now, but I wasn’t always. After working for nearly 20 years in the broken maternity system, I was once in your shoes, wondering how I could have the birth I wanted and that I felt God meant for me to have.

I found a secret that’s been known since the beginning of time — God’s way is the best way. He made us and our babies, and He knows us best. He designed us perfectly for pregnancy, birth, and nourishing our babies after birth if we work with His design and not against it.

​So, if you’re ready to reclaim your birth and your babies for His glory, go turn on a few episodes of Bluey for that little one on your hip so you can put the focus back on you for a few minutes with me.

It’s review time — my favorite time! I love sharing these wonderful reviews you keep leaving me. They truly encourage me.

If you haven’t already, please hit pause real quick and go do that for me now. It helps me so much to hear from you — what you’re learning, what you like about the podcast, and what you need. It lets me know I’m not just talking to myself, that you’re actually listening and finding help here.

Thank you to everyone who’s left a review so far. For those who haven’t, that’s all I want for Christmas from you! It doesn’t cost a thing — just leave me a quick review and let me know what you think. You never know, you might hear yours read right here, just like Rachel G.’s:

“I’m so blessed to have found Lori’s podcast as I’m currently expecting my second child. If only her podcast was around when I was expecting my first, I might have avoided the C-section that resulted from the cascade of medical interventions. I’ve learned so much, but more importantly, I’ve learned to rely on God, not the broken medical system. It’s been a much more enjoyable pregnancy, and I feel more confident being an advocate for myself and my baby when I go into labor. Thank you so much, Lori, for creating this podcast!”

​Thank you, Rachel, for those kind words. I hope you have a much better birth this time and that many first-time mamas are able to avoid that same cascade of interventions.

We’re now in the holiday season. You’ll likely be around family you don’t see often, and if you’re pregnant — or even if you’ve just had a baby — and did things differently than the conventional route, you can bet you’ll get comments. And many won’t be positive.

Mama, you cannot afford to give up your peace or let fear creep in. You’ve got to get your mind prepared for what may be said.

People will tell you everything — their “failed” labors, how they pushed for hours with no progress, how their baby “wouldn’t come.” They’ll tell you their breastfeeding failures and how they “didn’t make enough milk.” For some reason, people love to share the worst parts of their stories while leaving out the best.

Often, they’re not trying to hurt you — they’re processing their own experiences. Maybe they weren’t brave enough to try doing it differently, or maybe they feel threatened because you’re choosing God’s design.

​So, how do you protect your peace and mindset this season? Here are four things to remember.

It may not sound like it, but most people mean well. What they say is often more about them than about you.

Scripture says in James 1:19, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

So be slow to speak. Let them talk if they need to. Listen politely or gracefully exit if you can. It’s not worth stirring up drama during the holidays.

​Over time, your peaceful example will speak louder than words. People may even come back later to ask how you did it. Just let your actions show God’s peace.

If someone doesn’t want your advice, don’t force it. You can’t help someone who isn’t ready.

If they ask what you’re doing and you want to answer, go ahead. If they don’t ask — or you’d rather not open that door — have a kind, simple response ready and move on.

People who truly want to do better will seek it out. Sadly, many only realize there’s a better way after they’ve had a traumatic experience. That’s often what it takes for someone to start looking for God’s way.

​Just like faith — you can’t force it. People have to come to it on their own.

When people tell you their horror stories — about “almost dying” or “not making enough milk” — don’t absorb it. Let it go in one ear and out the other.

Instead of letting those words plant seeds of doubt, remind yourself that you’re walking a different road. You’re preparing. You’re educating yourself. You’re following God’s design.

​Smile, say something like “Oh, I hate to hear that,” and move on. Your peace and joy are worth far more than being “right.”